Not every Once-Upon-A-Time ends in a Happily-Ever-After.

My fairytale, for instance, didn’t come with a handsome Prince Charming, a night at the ball, or a magical pumpkin carriage.

Instead, I got a bearded, bad-tempered king, a sex party for rich people, and a driver waiting to take me home after the royal asshole was finished with me.

And they lived Not So Happily Ever After.

The End.

That should be it, right? Even missing some conventional fairytale elements, it’s clear no one is riding off into the sunset in the tale of the grumpy king and the naïve, much younger actress.

Except, a positive pregnancy test just proved that, in this fairytale, the end isn’t the end at all.

It's the beginning.